विरोधाभास

भंवर है, उत्पात है
जलन है, विरह है
राख है ,धूल है
विकीर्ण है, वृहद् है
शोर है, विस्फोट है

सुन्दरता है, जोश है
सदाचार है, परोपकार है
खुशबू है, रंग है
प्रीत है, दया है
इच्छा है, सोच है
जज़्बा है, उमंग है
प्रकाश है और आशा है

शायद इसलिए ज़िन्दगी है

Few conversations and a Freak Accident

"Here is your Citibank envelope, Sir and the account number is your log-in and a special password is provided in the envelope for internet banking", he went on in his business like tone.

What!!!! Was I dreaming? I had filled the form just ten minutes back. Is this guy serious? 

He had not even cross-verified whatever I had filled. I could not keep my poker-faced expression for long and accepted this as another pleasant shock.

I should have had adjusted to these efficient ways, now that I had started my third day in the new company and especially after having experienced some real professionalism. I had come to open my salary account at the Citibank helpdesk on 6th floor of the building. Having an awful experience at such things in my last company, I was under the impression that the account docs will reach me in another week or so. And it might take another week to activate my account. 

But lo and behold!!! I was clutching on to my Citibank packet, like that was my dearest possession on the planet and walking back to my cubicle. All this in a record time of just 15 minutes. 

Do they have an entry in the Guinness Book of World Records? 

The Citibank representative had also stated that the account will be active in two days once the finance department of the company clears the verification. What else does one need? 

Thank you Mr.? - And I didn’t even ask his name. Shall I say hangover of my last company’s behavioral traits.

The building where my new company is located is oval shaped with a huge atrium at the centre which is well bounded by parapets. After seeing the building plan on the intranet, I had thought of just having a dekko at the atrium. Curiosity had the better of me and there I was, moving towards that passage which opened there. Walking next to the parapet, I looked down and the sight was good enough to give me weak knees. 

It was like I was gazing down a deep pit of around seventy feet - I never knew that I had fear of heights until that day! I tried controlling myself and under the duress pushed the nearest door that opened into the oval hall surrounding the atrium. I almost ran towards the stairs and reached my cubicle on the 4th floor. Was my head reeling? May be I am acrophobic.

"Accident!!”, I was almost startled! 

It was an employee who was standing at the window near my cubicle and was just seeing the vehicular movement on the road. People here, as I have noticed, have peculiar ways of killing time. Some make "dhin-chak" drum sounds from their mouth while gazing at their computer screens, some play the good old Pac man on their laptops and yes there is a group of cricketers as well. Every afternoon they play cricket in their cubicle and pretty energetically, with appeals and all. And then there was this man who loves roads (rather one road) and vehicles!

There is a small passage next to my cubicle and after the passage is a row of windows with blinds. This row of windows opens towards the Langford Road side of the building. The road-lover had pulled up the blinds and was satiating his visual urges. No sooner had he shouted, he was joined by his co-workers.  The CUG (close-user-group), a dedicated group of friends who are ever ready to join each other under any circumstances, had herded around road-lover to get a glimpse of the action!

"Oh it is that i10 and it has knocked off that bike!!” this guy wanted everyone to know about his observation skills.

"Oho it has scraped that Indica as well", the same guy. He must be the Harsha Bhogle of this floor. With thick curly hair and thicker glasses, his looks were a far cry though.

"Taewwonnn…Tding...tiding”, this was supposed to be the background music. Bollywood has drastically altered an average Indian’s dramatic skills.

“Hehe…Shankar you should join Rangashankara!!!” Yes, the guy surely will fit back stage, with such superior skills and a nerdy face, who needs a synthesizer for background score?

“You see that lady. Look she is coming out now. She will not accept her mistake”, Harsha was on, unmindful of the praise his accomplice was getting.

“See I told you, the Indica guy is gone now. May be he should surrender. You can not win in an argument with a LADY DRIVER”. Our commentator was as undiplomatic as they come!

“Hey see that guy running from the other end of the road?” This was a person who looked pretty confused with all commotion but still, it seemed, had a better observation than our commentator.

“Yes!! Saw that? He was unbuttoning his shirt cufflinks…hahaha is he going to beat up that lady?” Our Harsha is not bad and with finer details like unbuttoning of cuffs - is he in a wrong profession?

“It seems no one has any job…see such a small accident and there’s a crowd already”. How true? Incidentally, there was one some 50 ft above the place of action as well. And Mr. Manager (he can not be anyone else) was unaware that he too was doing the same thing. This is true anywhere in India. You have a freak accident and a crowd will surround you, not to help but to see what has happened. May be everyone is so bored of the saas-bahu serials on TV!!!

“I think we should call the TV guys to cover this”, another media influence and we should thank channels like AajTak for this. From a child rescued from under a deep sewage hole to the lost-and-found story of a commissioner’s dog, they can make anything prime time news. After all it has a reputation to mach.

This AajTak fan commented and made a move towards his cubicle. Walking past me he gave a smile and I smirked back not at him but his taste for news channels. The mob-mentality was in place and without any second thoughts all of them started moving towards their respective places.

Phew!! So much for one i10 and one Indica. There was one more casualty (was it a bike!!) but I was busy with my project document and never thought about it.

At that time my group admin turned up and I was informed about the procedure to collect my ID. As instructed I went to the ground floor of the building and posed for a photograph. The lady there informed that in another 20 min the ID will be dispatched to the 4th floor reception and I can collect it from there. Another instance of efficiency!!

After I came back I saw our commentator coming back to the window.

“Hey guys!!! It is still on” Wow!!! How long can you argue over two cars - and one bike? And how long can you have an interest in that?

“No!! The Indica driver is not giving up. Man!! The guy is resolute.”

“Shankar!! See that lady. She is going now with the Indica man. Thank God, peace at last”. May be the lady was taking the Indica guy to police station. Watch carefully you moron!! Someone has to pay for the repairs.

Shankar also joined our commentator but from their looks it was clear that the action was over. I got a call from 4th Floor reception that the ID card was ready and I can collect it from them.

I hurriedly moved out with all my belongings. It was already five o’clock and after collecting the ID I decided to leave for the day. There is no doubt that the day was eventful but the repercussions of the events were still waiting for me. 

As I reached the parking I got the first shock. It was my bike which was knocked off by the LADY DRIVER. One rear view mirror was broken and as I kick-started my bike I heard a crackling sound. This was the icing on the cake, the sound was emanating from the chain box as the chain after falling off the axle had got stuck in it. It was a pretty bad fall for my poor bike.

How I wish instead of being the holier-than-thou idiot, I had joined the motley group to catch a glimpse!!! This is what is called “Khaya peeya kuch nahin glass phoda 12 aana”.

PS: Well there is another more explicit saying in Hindi for this situation but it can not be put on this blog.

A few Conversations and a train journey - 2

Naini is the first stop which is hardly any distance from Allahabad. We were joined by a group of local people who were going to Mughal Sarai, a place more known for its railway station than any other thing. Some more commotion followed but thankfully no more jostling for any seat. My restlessness was pretty obvious to people around but why would anyone care.

“Going to Patna, beta?” a deep baritone in chaste English without any trace of accent surprised me. I turned to find it was the old man in kurta-pajama who was eager to know my destination.

“No Bhagalpur”, I blurted, knowing for sure that at least in UP, my home-town is not as renowned as Patna.

“Oho another six hours from there”, this man sure knew his “time and distance” stuff and obviously geography.

I was in no mood for any conversation but in the Hindi heartland if someone starts off in English, without any local accent, it generates a sense of curiosity. And that too in SL class of Indian Railways. Did someone say “India shining”?

“I am going to Patna”.

Wow!! Even this train is going to Patna!!! Not interested can’t you read SIR.

I have never been to any foreign country - being a software engineer for more than three years and not touching overseas shore is a shameful act, at least in India (anyway who gives a rat’s arse) – but I am pretty sure this conversing with uninterested people is prevalent only in India.

“You are from Bihar?” We, Indians, are good in converting an assertion into a question by just changing the tone. I was just trying to appreciate his effort for conversation and this is what came out of me.

The man gave me a toothy smile and I could see it was a false teeth set, not fitting his aged jaw line. “No”, the baritone responded. So he is well traveled at least to know the timings to various stations or may be he has some connections.

Was he smiling on my wrong guess or was it my English?

“You see, I feel more like an Indian than belonging to any particular state.” Impressive words, suits the baritone.

The man who was sitting on my side of the window started making some movement. He squat on the ground and started pulling out his luggage from beneath the berth.

Oh great!!! - Another encroacher of seats. He has no reservation and still was occupying the window seat.